You Know What, Potter? I Love You
by BookwormExtraordinary
Summary: Lily and James are locked in their towers and correspond through letters. Can a few letters turn around their relationship? LEJP Oneshot


This is the first version of the story I wrote, the other version is a bit longer and is under the title of _You Know What, Potter? I Think I Love You._

In this story, the letters sent are in different styles, so...

_Lily_

**_James_**

Enjoy!

**_Please Read!_** I don't know anything about Mongolia, so I apologize if I offend anyone. :-(

* * *

_Potter,_

_I BLAME YOU FOR THIS NONSENCE! IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU SETTING MCGONAGALL'S WIG ON FIRE, SHE WOULD HAVE IGNORED THE FACT THAT HER ROBES HAD TURNED FLORECENT PINK! SO IT'S YOUR FAULT THAT WE'RE STUCK IN OUR DORMATORIES!_

_**Evans, Will you go out with me?**_

_When HELL freezes over, Potter!_

_**Is that a yes or a no?**_

_It's a heck no, Potter! And you had better learn some manners!_

_**I do have manners; I just choose not to use them.**_

_Yeah, right._

_**I do. When I met the Prime Minister last summer, I was very polite and cordial.**_

_YOU MET THE PRIME MINISTER AND YOU NEVER TOLD ME?_

_**Why would I tell you anything?**_

_I'm not going to dignify that with a response._

_**Because you don't have one.**_

_Obviously! So when did you meet the Prime Minister?_

_**Last summer, my dad took me to the Ministry, when they told him to go take something to the Prime Minister's office. He decided just to take me too.**_

_Oh. So…do you do a lot of stuff with your dad?_

_**Not much, he's an Auror.**_

_Oh._

_**You're saying 'Oh' a lot.**_

_I just realized how little I know about you._

_**What's to know? I was born in a little village in Mongolia, my family moved to England when Dad got a job at the Ministry, I've been raised in London since I was four, I've known about magic all my life. When I was 11 I got my letter, I saw you, instantly fell in love with you, was scorned by you, and set McGonagall wig on fire, ending up right here, right now, writing you a letter while we're locked in our towers. What about you?**_

_You're life is a lot more exciting than mine. I was born in Liverpool, I was raised in Liverpool, never knew about magic, grew up in a muggle family, got teased by all of the muggle kids because I always got all of the questions right in class, got called teacher's pet more than once, shocked my family when I got my letter at age 11, saw you, had a crush on you for about thirty seconds—right up until the moment you used the Sorting Hat for a Frisbee—and I've hated you every since. Unfortunately, I decided to play my 'Senior Prank' on Professor McGonagall the same time you decided to play yours, resulting in the both of us getting locked in our towers._

_**You had a crush on me?**_

_For thirty seconds!_

_**I remember when I threw the Sorting Hat across the Great Hall! Good times, good times.**_

_Purses lips in a disciplinary fashion_

_**Nice. So…your family is all muggles?**_

_Every single one. I thought you would know, seeing as you're always 'rescuing' me from Snape who always calls me a…well, you know._

_**Ah, yes, I hate that—that—that thing!**_

_James Timothy Potter!_

_**(Pales) How did you find out about my middle name?**_

_Sirius told me…in exchange for something._

_**What?**_

_A date with one of his friends, so far he hasn't collected._

_**That's what it was!**_

_What was?_

_**Sirius said that he had 'come across a new way for you to hook up with Evans'. I thought he had meant something he read in one of those muggle magazines. Now I see it was through the deal you had with him.**_

_Sirius reads muggle magazines?_

_**You don't want to see them, trust me. He showed them to me once. There is one page that has tips on how to get a girl. The other twenty-odd pages are full of photos of women who 'aren't wearing much', if you catch my drift.**_

_Drift caught._

_**Good.**_

_I was just rereading the notes you sent and I realized some things. (A) Neither of us signs our names nor addresses our notes so they may be called letters. (B) YOU WERE BORN IN MONGOLIA!_

_**So?**_

_Mongolia is a mountainous country full of poverty that is halfway around the world from us!_

_**No, halfway around the world is New Zealand. Mongolia is more like a quarter of the way around the world.**_

_Now who's being the smarty-pants?_

_**I'm not being a smarty-pants. It's just that my parents got me a globe for Christmas and I haven't been able to find a use for it except as a Quaffle. Unfortunately, it falls faster than a Quaffle. :-(**_

_That's because Quaffles are charmed to fall slower, dummy. : p_

_**I am not a dummy, Lillian!**_

_That's not my name._

_**Oh.**_

_Now who's saying 'Oh' a lot?_

_**Me.**_

_Correct! Give that boy a gold star!_

_**Are you being sarcastic? I never can tell when people are writing letters notes.**_

_Dear James Potter,_

_I think we should start writing letters, what do you think?_

_Lily_

_**To The Most Beautiful Lily Of Them All,**_

_**Sure! It gives me the opportunity to practice my flattery.**_

_**James**_

_To The Most Arrogant, Pigheaded Jerk I've Ever Known,_

_Your flattery's just fine. No go find someone who will reciprocate your feelings._

_Annoyed,_

_Lily_

_**To The Fairest Flower In A Flower Garden,**_

_**The only one I want to reciprocate my feelings is you!**_

_**James**_

_**P.S. I don't have feelings for any of the other girls to reciprocate!**_

_**P.P.S. Will you go out with me?**_

_**P.P.P.S. If the answer to the above question is no, please enclose a long and detailed list of why not.**_

_To The Most Annoying Boy On Planet Earth,_

_Two words. To. Bad._

_Lily_

_P.S. Sure._

_**To The Most Stubborn Girl I've Ever Met,**_

_**I didn't see a detailed list!**_

_**James**_

_To The Most Overlooking Boy I've Ever Come In Contact With,_

_I suggest you reread the post-script on my last letter._

_Amused,_

_Lily_

_**To The Girl Who Hurts My Pride More Than A Stampede Of Elephants Could Hurt My Body,**_

_**Sorry.**_

_**Ashamed,**_

_**James**_

_To The Most Bemusing Boy On The Earth Who I'm Going To Be Going Out With Sometime After We're Let Out Of Our Towers,_

_You have got to read the letters better!_

_Finished Admonishing,_

_Lily_

_**To Lily, The Most Beautiful Flower In The Milky Way,**_

_**I know, I know.**_

_**James**_

_**P.S. Do you really think I'm an arrogant, pigheaded jerk?**_

_**P.P.S. Are you ever finished admonishing me for something?**_

_To Potter, Who Couldn't Make A Pot To Save His Life,_

_Do you really know?_

_Lily_

_P.S. No._

_P.P.S. No._

_P.P.P.S. What do you think of my greeting?_

_P.P.P.P.S. I really liked your greeting about a stampede of elephants._

_**To Lily, Who Stole My Heart The First Time Our Eyes Met,**_

_**We really need to get the conversation moving a bit more.**_

_**James**_

_**P.S. That's good.**_

_**P.P.S. No comment.**_

_**P.P.P.S. Very original.**_

_**P.P.P.P.S. I liked that one, too.**_

_To James, Who Set McGonagall's Wig On Fire,_

_Why don't we discuss the nicknames of you and your friends?_

_Moony Remus Lupin_

_Wormtail Peter Pettigrew_

_Padfoot Sirius Black_

_Prongs James Potter_

_The Marauders Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, Prongs Remus, Peter, Sirius, James_

_Bemused,_

_Lily_

_P.S. (Hurt) That's all you are going to say about my greeting?_

_**To The Woman Who Leaves Me Shaking My Head In Disbelief,**_

_**I can explain!**_

_**James**_

_**P.S. What if I say I loved it?**_

_To The Man Who Says He Can Explain, But Then Won't,_

_Then explain it!_

_Lily_

_P.S. Do you love it more or less than you love me? (Shocked at her own daring)_

_**To The Woman Who Doesn't Trust Me To Have A Good Explanation,**_

_**Sirius came up with them!**_

_**James**_

_**P.S. Less then you of course, I love you a lot more than a simple greeting! (Shocked and pleased at Lily's daring)**_

_To The Man Who Thinks A Good Explanation Involves Blaming His Friend,_

_That doesn't explain where he came up with them! Even Sirius can't just spontaneously come up with nicknames! He needs material to work with. Now, where did he get that material? (Pointed look)_

_Lily_

_P.S. I'm glad. I would hate to be out-loved by my greeting! (Smug smile)_

_**To The Woman Who Leaves Me Sweating To Come Up With An Excuse That Will Leave Me Free To Not Betray My Friends' Trust,**_

_**See above greeting.**_

_**Sweating,**_

_**James**_

_**P.S. I'm glad that you're glad. You being glad makes me glad.**_

_To The Exasperating Man Who Tries Not To Answer A Question That Was Accompanied By A Pointed Look,_

_Stop sweating and just tell me, or I will hex you so bad, you won't be able to have posterity! (Waves wand threateningly)_

_Lily_

_P.S. I'm glad my being glad can bring such joy to you._

_**To The Woman Who Threatens My Reproductive System,**_

_**(Gulps nervously while glancing around) If I tell you, you have got to promise not to tell anyone, or even tell anyone that you know.**_

_**Worried,**_

_**James**_

_**P.S. :-)**_

_To The Man Whose Actions Force Me To Threaten His Reproductive System,_

_I promise._

_Lily_

_P.S. :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) I can smile more than you!_

_**To The Woman Who Wants Me To Break A Marauders' Vow,**_

_**Do you swear on the lives of your future grandchildren?**_

_**Really Worried,**_

_**James**_

_To The Man Who Exasperates Me To No End,_

_YES, I, Lily Evans, swear upon the lives of my future grandchildren, that what will be now disclosed to me will never be repeated, save permission by three of the four Marauders._

_Lily_

_**To The Woman Who Astonishes Me By Knowing Exactly What To Say To Take A Marauders' Vow,**_

_**All right. Remus is a werewolf.**_

_**Wincing,**_

_**James**_

_To The Man Who Has Interesting Friends,_

_Is that all? You made me take a Marauders' Vow for that?_

_Lily_

_**To The Woman Who Seems To Know Everything,**_

_**What do you mean, 'is that all'?**_

_**Bemused,**_

_**James**_

_To The Man Who Sorely Underestimates The Intelligence Of Man As A Species,_

_I've known that for ages! Now, that explains Moony, but what about Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs? They sound like names you would use for your rat, dog, and stag. But you wouldn't happen to be illegal animagi, would you? Of course not, what am I saying, you wouldn't do that, would you, Jamisy-Wamisy?_

_Lily_

_**To The Woman Who Makes Me Uncomfortable With Her Constant Questions,**_

_**Well, about that… Lily, we are. I can turn into a stag, Sirius into a dog, and Peter into a rat.**_

_**Bracing for the outburst about rule-breaking to follow his pronouncement,**_

_**James**_

_Again, To The Man Who Sorely Underestimates The Intelligence Of Man As A Species,_

_Again, I've known that for ages! In fact, I think half of Gryffindor Tower knows about Remus!_

_Lily_

_**To The Woman Who Seems To Have All Of The Information That I Don't,**_

_**What was that about Remus?**_

_**James**_

_To The Man Who Knows Nothing Outside Of Quidditch,_

_Half of Gryffindor Tower knows about Remus._

_Becoming Impatient With The Repetition,_

_Lily_

_**To The Woman Who Enjoys Deflating My Head,**_

_**Sorry, I just couldn't believe it; it took two times for it to sink in.**_

_**James**_

_To The Man Who Needs To Get His Head Deflated On A Regular Basis,_

_Sorry this letter took so long, but I was just thinking. Do you know what, Potter, I love you._

_Lily_

_**To The Woman Who Rocks Me To The Core With Her Proclamations,**_

_**I didn't know that, but I think I just found a woman who reciprocates my feelings. I love you, Lily.**_

_**James**_

_To The Man I Love,_

_I LOVE YOU!_

_Lily_

_**To The Woman Who Steals My Breath As She Stole My Heart,**_

_**I LOVE YOU!**_

_**James**_

_To The Man Who I Love, And Who Loves Me,_

_Is that all we can say to each other?_

_Lily_

_**To The Woman I Love More Than Life,**_

_**No, I can say one other thing. Will you marry me?**_

_**James**_

_To The Man I Will Marry,_

_Yes._

_Lily_


End file.
